Genre: Supernatural Drama
Premise: Set during the Depression, a widow and her son are
visited by a strange man who may have the ability to communicate with the
dead.
About: This is the writer’s breakthrough screenplay. Before this, he was one of the writers on the
HBO show, “In Treatment.” He’s repped
over at CAA. Ezekiel Moss finished high
on last year’s Black List.
Writers: Keith Bunin
Details: 104 pages – Black List draft
Scriptshadow Casting Suggestion: Cillian Murphy for Ezekiel?
I’ve been meaning to read Ezekiel Moss for awhile but
everybody keeps telling me, “It’s a good script but really slow.” That “but” was the killer. You don’t want any “buts” before you pick up
a script. You want “ands.” You want “thens.” But please, no “buts.”
But it turns out the slowness of Ezekiel Moss hit a
reading sweet spot for me. I was heading
home from LA. And since I find it
impossible to do multiple things on travel days, I basically had one task – to read
a script. It was one of those rare times
when I wasn’t rushed. The script was
slow-developing? Fine with me. I had hours to spare.
Add to that the melancholy feeling you get when going
home after a trip and I was in the perfect mood for this story. You’ve spent the last month of your life
preparing for something, and then one day it’s just….over. It’s like “What do I do now?” You feel kind of empty. Yet “empty” is the perfect mood to read
Ezekiel Moss in. The characters in this
script are all empty. They need
something to fill up their lives. And
little do they know, that something is each other.
It’s 1934, the heart of the Depression. It’s a small town, too small “for anyone to
care about the name” according to the writer.
11 year old Joel Carson has a giant imagination and zero friends. He lives with his widowed mother, Iris, an
emotionally fragile woman, in the tiny Inn she runs. Iris finds occasional moments of happiness
sleeping with the salesman who stop by her Inn every week. She hates herself for it, but if not for
that, she’d be too lonely for words.
The thing with Iris’ job is that it’s predictable to the
point of boredom. The faces may change,
but it’s the same travelling salesmen, the same practiced smiles, the same
broken promises. That is until the darkly
intense Ezekiel Moss shows up with his witch-like partner, Hepzibah Webb.
The two ask to stay in one of her rooms for a week and
they come with two stipulations – stay out of their way and don’t ask
questions. Iris knows something is up
but a girl’s gotta put food on the table so as long as it doesn’t incriminate
her, they can do whatever they want.
Joel finds the odd but vulnerable Ezekiel fascinating, and
starts following him around, trying to figure out what it is he and Hepzibah
do. It turns out they travel from town
to town to find people who’ve lost loved ones.
And that’s where things get interesting.
Ezekiel has a special talent – he can allow spirits to possess his body. He can allow the dead to speak to the
living. Or, at least, that’s what he and
Hepzibah claim.
After seeing one of these possessions himself, Joel is a
believer, and he runs to his mother to tell her what’s going on. But because Joel’s imagination has always
been so outrageous, Iris doesn’t believe him.
Nor does she want to believe him, as she’s begun to fall for
Ezekiel.
While all that’s going on, the town priest gets wind of Ezekiel. He’s heard of these two. They’re wanted in
towns all over the region for conning people out of money at a time when money
is most in need. It’s time to put a stop
to this.
The thing is, all Ezekiel wants is to be normal, is to
not live with this curse. And if this
priest tells him he can save his soul, Ezekiel’s ready to take that chance. He
now has a child who looks up to him and a woman who’s falling for him. If he can be “normal,” then maybe he can be part
of a real family for once. In a way,
that’s his goal, even if deep down he knows it will never happen.
Did I mention Ezekiel was slow? Yeah, reading it feels like every two pages
should be one. But it still works! Why?
Because the character development here is freaking top-notch. I mean take a look at Iris. Here’s a woman who was soul-mate in love with
her husband before losing him. During the
accident, he shielded her to save her, ensuring his own death in the
process. She was pregnant with Joel at
the time. Which means there are moments,
moments she’d never admit out loud, where she wishes he would’ve lived instead
of Joel. She seeks closeness from the
company of other men, even though they’re gone before she wakes up. The entire town calls her a whore behind her
back. She’s poor, can barely pay the
bills. She ignores the one sense of
community the town has – church, alienating herself even more. I mean that’s a f*cking complex
character! A sympathetic character. The kind of person you want to know more
about.
But what’s great about Ezekiel is that everyone has a deep
backstory – specifically about someone they lost. And while in most stories, these tropes can
become cliché and eye-roll worthy, here, they’re intricate parts of the
plot. Because Ezekiel can speak to the
dead, he can bring these figures back. The
characters can resolve their issues with these ghosts. That was my favorite part about Ezekiel. People’s backstories actually mattered!
Another reason the slow-build works is that Bunin uses
very simple but effective storytelling methods to keep you interested. First there’s the arrival of Ezekiel
Moss. Everything about this man is
interesting. You want to know more. You want to turn the page to see who he is
and what he’s about.
Once you do find out, there’s a new mystery: “What are
Ezekiel and Hepzibah doing here? What’s
their business?” And as you gradually
figure that out, a threat presents itself – the priest. People are closing in on Ezekiel. Their business is in danger (conflict). So even though everything’s moving along at a
deliberate pace, Bunin seems to use just the right amount of suspense or
conflict or mystery to keep us involved.
With that said, we could definitely move things along
faster. Bunin has a terrible habit of
commenting after every line of dialogue. And not just commenting – but giving a
really detailed comment that just sucks up page real estate. For example, later in the script, Ezekiel is
speaking to Iris and says, “Don’t you hope that someday you’ll get
married?” Immediately afterwards we get
this action line: “Ezekiel is asking
this question for all kinds of reasons. Iris is deeply affected but she still
keeps things light.”
I mean, just get to Iris’ response! That entire action
line has already been implied. This is
done ENDLESSLY throughout the script and if Bunin could cut out 75% of these
lines, the script would fly. Right now,
it’s in danger of being tossed because of Hollywood’s ADD epidemic. And that’s too bad. Because it’s a very powerful story.
For those interested in writing supernatural/horror
movies, Ezekiel Moss is a good script to study.
The character development is top notch.
BECAUSE it’s top notch, the dialogue’s strong (a great understanding of
character usually results in strong unique dialogue for each character). And then everything just feels authentic –
not easy to do when you’re setting your story 80 years ago. I really liked this. Speed it up a little and maybe we have something
great.
[ ] what the hell
did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[xx] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: Beware character descriptions that
contradict themselves. I see this all
the time for some reason. “Joe is
intelligent yet a bit of an imbecile.”
“Linda is one of those people who’s both happy and miserable.” Uhhh, what does that mean? Which one am I supposed to go with? Remember,
writing a character description is not about it reading cool on the page – it’s
about conveying the character as clearly as possible to the reader. So here in Ezekiel, Iris is described as
having a “winning mixture of toughness and fragility.” I suppose you can make an argument that this
makes sense but to me it’s just confusing.
All I want to know is “Who is this character?” And that line doesn’t tell me. Go for clear.
Readers like clear.